Every child has something that lights them up: an interest, talent, or passion that makes time disappear. Youth-development researcher Peter Benson called these "sparks." His work at
Search Institute found that young people who can name their spark, and who have caring adults supporting it, are more likely to thrive.
For gifted children, a spark matters even more. Their quick minds often master grade-level work with little effort, which can leave them restless or bored. A spark gives that energy somewhere meaningful to go. As parents, you are often the first to see it.
Noticing the Spark
Gifted kids often have many interests at once, so it helps to know the difference between a passing interest and a true spark. Watch for these signs:
- They lose track of time. Dinner is called twice and they don't hear it.
- They come back to it on their own. No one has to remind or reward them.
- They ask questions you can't answer.
Their curiosity outruns the
books you have at home.
- They light up when they talk about it. Their voice, face, and hands all change.
- They make, collect, or organize things around it. Drawings, lists, models, or experiments start to pile up.
A simple habit can help you see patterns. Instead of asking "How was school?", try "What was the best part of your day?" or "What could you talk about for an hour?" Jot their answers down for a few weeks and look for what keeps showing up.
Fanning the Flame
Once you see a spark, the goal is to feed it without taking it over. A few ideas:
- Follow their lead. Offer books, kits, or experiences, but let your child decide what to pursue.
- Give time and space. Unscheduled hours are where deep interests grow. Guard some of that time each week.
- Find a mentor. A neighbor, librarian, museum educator, or college student who shares the passion can open doors a parent cannot.
- Praise the process. Notice their curiosity, persistence, and questions, not just how "smart" they are.
- Protect the joy. Not every spark needs to become a competition, a camp, or a college application. Sometimes it just needs to be fun.
Wisconsin is full of free and low-cost places to explore: public libraries, nature centers, museums, and university youth programs. Your child's teacher or district gifted coordinator can also suggest enrichment opportunities.
When the Spark is Hard to Find
Some gifted children don't have one obvious passion. Others hold back because they fear not being instantly good at something new. That is normal, and it is not a sign that something is missing.
If your child's spark is hiding, widen the circle. Try a new hobby together, visit somewhere unfamiliar, or share your own interests out loud. Let them sample things and stop without guilt. Look in unexpected places, too. A child who argues every rule may be a future debater, and one who builds worlds in video games may be a designer or storyteller in the making.
Keep the Light On
Sparks can change as children grow, and that's okay. What lasts is the message your child receives: their curiosity matters, and someone is paying attention. You don't need to be an expert in dinosaurs, robotics, or poetry. You just need to notice, make room, and stay curious alongside them.
This week, try asking your child one simple question: "What's something you wish you had more time for?" Their answer might be the start of something bright.
- Dr. Sara Bolster, WATG Board Member
