Communication: The key to relationships

By Kitty Ver Kuilen, WATG Board Member
​“Your relationship with your child is more important to her long-term future than any educational or enrichment opportunities you could provide, and it will suffer without good interpersonal communication.1

Here are some ideas to enhance the communication with your child:

• Remember that communication has multiple layers—body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, words. Make sure your body language matches the words you are saying! Be genuine; avoid sarcasm.
• Name your feelings. This helps your child develop a vocabulary for expressing themselves.
• Spend time together. Listen to each other and share your thoughts without the distraction of electronic devices.
• Accept feelings. They are neither right nor wrong; they just are. Empathize, understand, problem solve together even if you think the problem is minimal. It may be huge for your child.
• Separate behavior from the child you love.
• Use “I” statements. Explain how a behavior made you feel instead of accusing

           or blaming the child.

• Avoid making promises you can not keep. “You are grounded for life” is unrealistic. Focus on natural consequences.
• Write notes to your child—tuck them in a pocket, lunch box, or under the pillow. Valentines can be given year round.

 

1. James et al. (2007) A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children. Great Potential Press. p. 32.

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