GIFTED STUDENTS AND THEIR TEACHERS DURING THE COVID ERA

As you are reading this blog, many of you have already begun the school year. Some of you may still be waiting to commence, but all are learning to adjust and adapt to many new realities. 

The first reality was that change and decision-making is undoubtedly difficult, especially with so much pervasive uncertainty. Some of you may have had decisions made for you by municipalities or other governing boards, with or without your input. Some of you have been given options, and have had to navigate the waters of change by yourselves. And many of you have had to explain/defend your choice or situation to children, other family members, friends, or acquaintances. Undoubtedly some of you may continue to question your decisions, or continue to wish that things were different. 

One thing seems certain, however, and that is that we are all grieving. We are grieving the world as it was. We are grieving relationships, and proximity, and freedom to be out and about without anxiety. We are grieving school as it was. We are grieving teaching as it was. We are grieving learning as it was. 

In a recent coaching conversation with an outstanding administrator, she and I began to examine the stages of grief as they apply to helping educators, parents, and children process their emotions surrounding the change in learning during the COVID era. We talked about the five stages of grief as posed by Swiss American psychiatrist Kübler-Ross. Though most of Kübler-Ross-Ross’ work was in the field of death and dying, I think it applies equally well to the death of education as we once knew it. Kübler-Ross defines the non-linear stages of grief as denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Thinking back on the last months, many of us, adults and children alike, can probably identify with moving through these stages of grief. Countless articles, blog posts, Facebook posts, tweets, talk shows, and news sources have confirmed that we were/are not alone. And yet, what I’d like to focus on is the stage of acceptance, of finding ways to make the best of the new paradigm -- learning in the COVID era.

In a recent article in the New York Times, How to Handle Anxiety Over Back to School Decisions, author Dr. Pooja Lakshmin, a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry at George Washington University, suggests some coping skills to help us during these uncertain times. Her suggestions include learning to cope with uncertainty, distinguishing between productive and unproductive worries, stopping the fight with our feelings, cultivating compassion, paying attention to our grief, practicing flexible thinking and acting, and focusing on our values and our sources of meaning. While all of these strategies will help us and our children navigate the stages of grief, many of us find ourselves already in our “new normal.” 

So, what now?

In another recent article from the NAGC, Distance Learning Round Two - We're in This Together there is some timely advice for parents of gifted children who are immersed once again in distance learning. Tips from parents to parents include these:

• Stay calm! Your attitude toward distance learning will indubitably influence your child’s attitude
• Your relationship with your child is more important than anything else, including schoolwork; SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of Gifted) has done decades of important research around this tenet
• The love of learning is paramount; gifted learners love to learn, and we don’t want to extinguish that passion
• These are not normal times; compassion is a gift you can give as a parent, compassion for your child, yourself, and your circumstances

Tips from educators to parents include these:

• Set up a schedule (with frequent breaks) that works for your family and for the educational expectations of your distance learning
• Work together to set priorities; Is academics the biggest priority? Does a certain academic subject need more time than others? Does your child need work on executive functioning skills? How do you balance exercise, movement, fresh air with desk time?
• Provide a space where your child can work undistracted from noise, toys, outside stimulation 
• Give your child the opportunity to solve problems, and teach him to ask for help only when needed; this promotes problem solving, decision making and advocacy skills
• Allow for mistakes, for incomplete work, for tears; these are learning opportunities in disguise
• Set boundaries on the school day, and provide opportunities for rejuvenation
• Model self-care as a parent

For those of you who have re-entered or are re-entering face-to-face learning, the changes and challenges are also daunting. As we work on acceptance of these changes and challenges, we need to examine them and provide context, clarity, and time for discussion. In a recent article from Grown and Flown, pediatrician and mom Dr. Cara Natterson speaks about what teens can expect as school starts this fall, and how important it is to discuss the expectations and emotions associated with them.

Some things that will change (undoubtedly for kids and teachers in any age/grade group returning face-to-face) are:

• Calendars and schedules; in order to keep schools safer, co-curricular and extra curricular calendars must be modified; sports, theater, music events, etc. may be non-existent;  in order to keep kids in smaller self-contained pods, class scheduling, hallway movement, breaks, lunchtimes, and “just hanging out” will change
• Spaces; there may be arrows on the floor, traffic patterns will change, desk arrangements will need to be modified, drinking fountains may be turned off; lunchrooms may be eliminated, classrooms may be devoid of extraneous materials, class may be held outside; sanitizer will be everywhere, and ventilation will be scrutinized
• Rules and procedures; some of these rules may seem unkind or unfair or intrusive; health tickets may be required to enter; temperatures may be taken often; masks will be worn and social distancing must be practiced

My biggest takeaway from all of my reading, discussion, observation, and pondering how to accept these daunting changes is that, now, more than ever, we must pay attention to the social and emotional needs of our educators and learners. Absorbing and accepting tremendous amounts of change requires tremendous amounts of time, energy, and understanding. While the academic needs of our gifted learners are very important, their emotional health must also be safeguarded. We need to give everyone the gifts of patience, flexibility, and grace.

My heart goes out to all of you as you navigate these new waters, and I sincerely hope that you will find a safe harbor in a place of acceptance, at least for now. We can then contemplate the challenges of moving forward. Sail forth!

As always, I welcome your ideas. Together we grow.

Jackie Drummer
Past President, WATG