How to Respond When the News is Scary

The news has been scary. It is scary for adults as well as children, and it has also been relentless. For some of us, especially gifted children and adults who may be especially sensitive to the problems of the world, these have been some incredibly difficult times.

Polish psychiatrist, psychologist, and physician, Kazimierz Dąbrowski, (best known for his theory of positive disintegration), noticed that some people possess overexcitabilities which predispose them to heightened sensitivities to their world. He defined these overexcitabilities as psychomotor, sensual, emotional, intellectual, and imaginational. While not everyone agrees with Dabrowski’s work, parents/caregivers and educators of gifted children often observe these intensities in the children they know and love.

According to Dabrowski, psychomotor overexcitability manifests itself in a capacity for being active and energetic, a love of movement, a surplus of energy, and an actual need for physical action. Many parents/caregivers of gifted children report this in their children (and it is sometimes mistaken for Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder).

Sensual overexcitability manifests itself in a heightened ability to experience sensory/ aesthetic pleasure. These are children who may hate labels in their clothing, refuse to eat foods with objectionable textures, or be bothered by stimuli that most people ignore or do not even notice, for example. Additionally, they may display a great need to touch and be touched, and respond with great joy or disgust to sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures.

Emotional overexcitability is often recognized by parents of gifted children and others as well because those who have it often display intense emotions and responses to events and experiences in their lives. Comments about people with emotional hypersensitivity often include the word “too…” (e.g., too bossy, too loud, too opinionated, too sensitive).

Children who possess intellectual overexcitabilities may persist in asking probing questions, have an unquenchable thirst for knowledge/novelty, possess keen observational skills and concentration in areas of interest, persevere in asking probing questions, possess a proclivity or reverence for logic or theoretical thinking, or possess a deep precision for understanding and can be intolerant of imprecision or errors. Like R2D2 in Star Wars, they demand INPUT!

Finally, children with imaginational overexcitabilities view the world in a variety of powerful ways. They often have very strong attachments to persons, living things, or places. They may be timid or shy, or conversely, extremely boisterous and outgoing, sometimes explosively so. They may possess strong affective memories. They may live their lives “inside their heads.”They may worry excessively about the pain of the world “Weltschmerz,” or the pain of others, and obsess over their inability to effect change. 

While truly “gifts,” all of these sensitivities can also be liabilities during times when the news is scary, as it is now.

Clearly, many of us have been worried about how to reassure our sensitive children during these times. In late February, I listened to a short podcast prepared by Anya Kamenetz and Cory Turner on National Public Radio entitled,
What to Say to Kids When the News is Scary.
My takeaways included things I already knew, and also caused me to think about some new ideas. Here are the main takeaways (in italics/bold), and my thoughts, following:

• Limit children’s exposure to breaking news. In today’s world of 24/7 connection, news breaks quickly and sometimes unexpectedly. It is up to us adults to be cognizant that (as my grandmother often said), “little pitchers have big ears.” The kids are listening, and they are acutely attuned to our reactions/responses to the news. So be aware; monitor the exposure that children have to the news.
• Ask, “what have you heard, and how are you feeling? Even if we limit our children’s exposure to the news, they hear from kids on the playground, on the schoolbus, in their neighborhood, on social media, etc. They often worry in silence, and often magnify problems as well. They do feel powerless and afraid. So talk to them. Listen. Observe. Find the time and space. For the littlest kids, this is often in the quietude of their bedrooms at bedtime; for adolescents, it is often in the (enforced) proximity/safety of a car ride :)
• Give kids facts and context. Bright children especially have finely-tuned BS (Baloney Sausage) Detectors. They can ask insightful questions, cut through the static, and make us uncomfortable. Our job is to tell the truth, but at an age-appropriate level. Follow their lead; answer their questions, but be careful to respect their level of questioning and understanding.
• When they ask why something happened, avoid labels like "bad guys." In a recent conversation with my eight year old grandson, he was quick to label a certain nation as all bad. Some probing questions of his assumptions helped him separate bad actors from good and responsible people. Kids do not mean to be judgmental; they are merely attempting to make sense of their world, and it is our job to help them do that respectfully and accurately.
• Encourage kids to process the story through play and art. Therapists have known forever that play and art allow kids to speak the unspeakable. Through their creative expression, they can work out their hopes, fears, and dreams. Provide the time, the space, and the materials. Use their creations as the on-ramp to discussion, or simply respect the product as the healthy outlet for emotions.
• Look for the helpers. Fred Rogers often told the story of his mother’s profound way to help children deal with tragedy, and that was to look for the helpers. There are always helpers when tragedy strikes. These people, individually and collectively, give us hope. Children need to feel the power of hope, especially during these difficult times.
• Finally, take positive action together. So many times all of us feel helpless. This can be especially true for children, who feel that they have little power to effect change. In every crisis, however, there are things, both great and small, that we can do to diminish the suffering in our world. And often, these help us to diminish our worries as well. By being one small part of the solution, we are fighting the problem. Model problem-solving. Take action. 

Though I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, or counselor, I hope that these ideas have comforted you, and have given you some tools to help your children and your students cope during these trying times.

As always, I look forward to your thoughts. Together we grow. Take care.

Jackie Drummer, Past President and Current Board Advisor
WI Association for Talented and Gifted 

(WATG would like to extend a huge thank you to Dr. Martha Aracely Lopez of Milwaukee Public Schools for translating this article into Spanish for our Spanish-speaking families and educators. The translation can be found in our website blogs.)