|
It almost always begins like this - a group of parents, caregivers, and grandparents are sitting in a circle, focusing on the joys and challenges of living with their gifted children day in and day out.
In these circles, many parents have questions about the unique characteristics of gifted children - their curiosity, their focus (or lack of focus), their incredible intensities and super sensitivities, their motivation (or lack of it), their possible susceptibility to perfectionism, stress, anxiety, and depression, or their inability to make many agemate friends. Their children may report being bored at school, and the adults worry about appropriate educational challenges. They come looking for resources, recommendations, and reassurance. Many report having a burning desire to talk to other parents, grandparents, and caregivers about their unique children, but haven’t found a safe, nurturing environment…yet. Then…they experience a Parent to Parent: Sharing Your Wisdom workshop at a WATG conference. Here they meet others who are “walking the walk”. Guided by SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of Gifted) national trainers and facilitators, Dal and Jackie Drummer, the parents and caregivers share their joys and challenges. They offer advice, comfort, and knowing smiles. They share ideas and resources. They lift each other up. Sometimes they even share contact information and their children become friends. Sometimes the adults make new friends too. All of this is done in a confidential environment under the care of the Drummers, who have over 100 years of combined experience teaching, parenting, and grandparenting gifted children. If you (or someone you know and love) is yearning for this type of experience, we invite you to register for the parent portion of the WATG Annual Fall Conference on Sunday, October 2 at the Wilderness Conference Center in Wisconsin Dells. The morning will feature the Parent to Parent: Sharing Your Wisdom workshop. It will be followed by an opportunity to network with other adults for lunch, and then a variety of afternoon workshops designed especially for parents, caregivers, and grandparents. If you have the time and interest, stay for the entire conference October 3 and 4; we have many additional outstanding workshops planned. Do consider joining us; registration information for the parent conference (and the entire conference) can be found here. We look forward to meeting you!
0 Comments
One of the challenges I endured as a young mother of three children was that I didn’t understand the education system. I certainly did not understand the system enough to navigate it and advocate for my children effectively. Some questions I had included: What is the responsibility of the school board? What is the relationship between the school board and the educators? What powers do the PTA/PTO have? What services are my children legally eligible to receive?
In the late 90s, I quickly discovered how important it was to understand these systems and services. My son was struggling academically. He was not struggling because of diminished intellect but because of boredom and being under-challenged. “Students who are under-challenged are not always gifted, but they are typically competent and very smart and do not always present that way” (Morin, 2020). My response was to give him more challenging work at home and involve him in after-school programming where his intellect would be stretched. I even challenged him to practice responding to some of the questions on my Law School Admissions Practice test, to which he always seemed to get the answers much quicker than I could. As a parent, I was becoming frustrated with the notes I was receiving from his teachers despite the additional support I was providing him at home. He continued to struggle at school, and his teacher was prepared to label him learning disabled. In his 7th grade year, he met a new teacher who looked like him, understood his cultural background and community, and most definitely understood how to navigate the education system. She took the initiative to engage me, as his parent and first educator, in a more in-depth dialogue about how we could better support my son’s k-12 academic journey. She told me about services that the school had available to support my son, which would test him so that we were sure that he was assigned to the correct level courses, and offered services that would support me. My son was eventually tested, removed from most of his major classes and into advanced placement courses, and, through the efforts of his teacher, was enrolled in Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth. He was able to take his SATs in the 7th grade (scoring higher than his 11th-grade brother), scores that he was eligible to use to enroll in college, and thrived in a way that I could not have imagined if it had not been for his African American 7th grade teacher. Black students are more than 15% of the total student population, represent nearly 10% of the students in gifted programs, and are three times as likely to be identified as gifted if their teacher is black (Mullaguru, 2016). According to a study conducted in 2016, millions of students should be designated as gifted, and the reason that they are missing from the data is typically due to schools not identifying students as gifted and talented due to funding; additionally, they may attend a school identified as ‘high poverty, or be overlooked because they are Latino, black (like my son), or another underidentified group (Gentry, 2020). Under-motivated children rarely see an incentive to do the work and often complain about the classroom experience. They will often express that they already know what is being taught and, like my son, may even declare, “I am more intelligent than my teacher.” Children who experience this may be labeled as lazy or learning disabled, especially those who are a part of an underidentified group, and consequently are seen as “problem children”. “Due to systemic exclusion of minority students, gifted programs may exacerbate the racial achievement gap by further boosting outcomes for more privileged students…” (Cohen, 2022). Unfortunately for my son, it took seven years before he was provided the support he needed to thrive academically, and we are grateful for that gift from his educator. If you are/were lucky enough to figure out the system early, share the knowledge with other parents. If you are still struggling to try to find ways to challenge your young scholar, here are some things that you can do:
Today my son is a father, husband, and child advocate, and he still believes he is more intelligent than his teachers :) Danielle Y. Hairston Green WIsconsin Association for Talented and Gifted Board Member If you clicked on this article, odds are that there is a young gifted underachiever in your life, or someone who is at least perceived as an underachiever by others. It's so frustrating when we care about someone who seems not to be living up to great intellectual or creative promise, or who has been labeled as "...not working up to potential." There are many thousands of publications on motivation and the gifted, and if you're interested in the scholarly perspective, you can check out the articles cited at the end of this brief list of tips. While all of the tips are based on empirical research evidence, they are also parent and teacher tested!
TIP #1. Is the student truly underachieving, or are they just not achieving at what their parents and teachers wish they were? We may despair when a student fails to do homework, but if they are tinkering with inventions in the basement or writing and performing music, they may be developing passions and skills that will carry them far. If they don't appear to have any interests or passions at all, it's probably time for a mental health check. Depression or anxiety can be root causes of some underachievement. TIP #2. Intrinsic and/or extrinsic motivation? Research indicates that gifted students have motivation patterns similar to other students, though they may tend to be a little more intrinsically motivated. We are all motivated to put forth effort both by what we like to do (intrinsic) and by external desires/pressures (good grades, money, avoidance of punishment). It’s important to save the extrinsic motivators for tasks/situations that don't interest the student but seem to be important for life success. And if you can connect the unexciting task (taking out the trash) to something about which the student is passionate (recycling and the environment), so much the better! TIP #3. Is being labeled "gifted" or "talented" good or bad for motivation? Research considers this something of a mixed bag. The label can serve as validation - an outside authority considers the student capable of high-level accomplishment - and this can be important especially in cases where untrained teachers may overlook underrepresented gifted students. The label can also result in some performance anxiety, but those effects can be mitigated with a "growth mindset" approach. Teachers and parents can emphasize the joy of mastering challenges and point out that errors and failures are just part of developing a talent. TIP #4. Speaking of challenge - is the school providing an appropriate level of challenge for the student? A state of "flow" (a motivation concept defined as being deeply immersed in an activity) depends on both interest AND appropriate challenge. It's fine now and then for students who finish work early to help the others, but that should not be confused with programming that is appropriately challenging. If you are ready for algebra, tutoring other students in multiplication is not an adequate substitute. TIP #5. Can underachievement be reversed? There are a number of studies, particularly case studies, on gifted underachievers who showed considerable success later in life. One thing that many of those studies have in common is that the students generally had at least one adult in their life who was non-judgmentally supportive, often an adult who shared an intellectual or artistic passion that was not necessarily offered as part of regular school curriculum. So there is hope for long-term underachievers! For more scholarly/academic discussions of these and similar issues check out these articles: Clinkenbeard, P. R. (2012). Motivation and gifted students: Implications of theory and research. Psychology in the Schools, 49, 622-630. https://doi.org/10.1002/pits.21628 (FYI, this article has been requested frequently by other scholars.) Clinkenbeard, P. R. (2014). Motivation and goals. In C. Callahan & J. Plucker (Eds.), Critical issues and practices in gifted education: What the research says (2nd ed.). Waco, TX: Prufrock Press. Pamela Clinkenbeard, Ph.D. WI Association for Talented and Gifted Board Member If you are a parent/caregiver or a grandparent, here is a special invitation for you to join us for a day to learn from WATG experts about key themes in raising and supporting your gifted child(ren)!
In the morning, you can participate in a SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of Gifted) workshop facilitated by Jackie and Dal Drummer, members of the WATG Board. Here is more information about the workshop: Parenting gifted kids can be both a joy and a challenge. Sometimes gifted children and their parents/caregivers feel alone as they navigate life’s ups and downs. This session, “Parent to Parent: Sharing Your Wisdom” is a chance for parents to share their parenting experience and advice, to give and receive comfort, and to discover resources that will help them on their journey. It will be facilitated by Dal and Jackie Drummer, who are SENG (Supporting the Emotional Needs of Gifted) national trainers and facilitators. Together they have over 100 years of teaching, parenting, and grand parenting, and have facilitated numerous groups nationally. Come to learn, to share, and to gain tools to help you as you grow along with your child. Many parents and caregivers report that this workshop has given them additional insight, sensitivity, and confidence. After this session, join us for lunch (location to be announced) for an opportunity to get to know other parent members. Lunch is on your own; however, we will suggest a meeting space for all interested parents to network. In the afternoon, we will have a Parent Member Unconference. In an Unconference, participants may choose mini-workshops that most interest them. Here you can learn from WATG experts about various topics, including:
Parent members will leave with resources related to these topics for further exploration. We will also share more information about an upcoming opportunity to participate in an online parent book club. Sunday, October 2, 2022’s Full Agenda:
Please join us; you will be glad that you did! Mary Pape and Jenna Cramer, Event Planners WATG Board Members Gifted individuals can often be described as people who crave challenges. One of the earliest indications that our son was gifted was his consistent thirst for knowledge and challenges. He was potty trained at the age of 2 and was motivated by the opportunity to learn about ceiling fans through catalogs he “read” while training. He learned to swim independently across the pool at 3 years old after doing multiplication problems in between each attempt. While in K5, he became disengaged in class because of a complete lack of challenge. Our conference that fall was disappointing and alarming. After a mid-year school switch, when he was 6, he did his first Power Point presentation because he wanted to illustrate the history of the piano and his passion for it to his peers; it was a challenge he took on all by himself, creating every slide and its animations independently after a brief tutorial. And today, just recently at 9, he prefers challenging piano pieces over those that are simple. He assembles expert Lego sets containing thousands of pieces in a matter of hours. He masters “challenge” pieces more quickly than the piano pieces that are supposed to come next in his repertoire. He works on his Lego sets with intense focus; each page is a different and unique challenge and the motivation to complete the biggest sets in a short time keeps him interested. Challenges motivate our son and so many other gifted children. Without challenges, the risk of undesirable behaviors escalates. It is our job, then, as parents and educators, to find ways to keep our curriculum engaging and stimulating so that we do not “lose” the gifted kids in the mundane, repetitive, and slow-paced environment that is a traditional classroom. Keeping gifted children challenged is a constant struggle. As parents, we strive to find enrichment activities for after school or throughout the summer months. We beg schools to give our children more in-depth material, to move them along at a faster pace than their peers, or to allow them to accelerate to a more appropriate placement for their current academic level. We constantly invest in books, toys, and online learning platforms to fill their constant desire for information and challenge. We take them on trips around the world, join several different FB groups; we are desperate for inspiration, and even choose to move states to find an environment that will consistently offer our children the challenge that motivates them to remain passionate about learning and remain engaged. So often, we hear the phrase “rise to the challenge.” In the gifted world, no truer words have been spoken. Gifted kids need to be challenged. They ought to have the chance to reach their fullest potential. They aren’t “just fine” because they are smart. They deserve, as outliers to the norm, to have an education and opportunities that allow them to flex their curiosity. We have a challenge before us - to keep these children motivated, and although it won’t be simple, I promise it will be worth it in the end! Mary Pape WATG Board Member (WATG would like to extend its deep appreciation to Esther Vazquez Guendulain of Appleton Bilingual School for translating this article into Spanish for our Spanish-speaking families and educators. The translation can be found below.) Motivado por el desafío: Una perspectiva del padre Los individuos con talentos excepcionales a menudo se pueden describir como personas que anhelan desafíos. Uno de los primeros indicadores de que nuestro hijo tenía talentos excepcionales fue su consistente sed por conocimiento y desafío. El ya avisaba para ir al baño a la edad de 2 y estaba motivado por la oportunidad de aprender sobre los abanicos de techo a través de los catálogos que “leyó” mientras se entrenaba para ir al baño. Aprendió a nadar de manera independiente atravesando la alberca a los 3 años de edad después de hacer problemas de multiplicación entre cada intento. Cuando estaba en kínder, él se desintereso en la clase por la total falta de desafío. Nuestra conferencia en ese otoño fue decepcionante y alarmante. Después del cambio de mitad de año, cuando tenía 6, el hizo su primera presentación en Power Point porque quería ilustrar a sus compañeros con la historia del piano y su pasión por el; fue un reto que lo tomo todo para si mismo, creando independientemente cada hoja de presentación y sus animaciones después de un breve tutorial. Y ahora, recientemente a los 9, prefiere el desafío de piezas en piano que aquellas que son simples. El ensambla en cuestión de horas, juegos de piezas de legos para expertos que contienen miles de piezas. El domina las piezas de “reto” más rápido que las piezas de piano que se supone que siguen en su repertorio. El trabaja en sus juegos de lego con un enfoque intenso; cada página es un desafío único y diferente y la motivación por terminar rápido el juego más grande lo mantiene interesado. Los desafíos motivan a nuestro hijo y muchos otros niños con talentos excepcionales. Sin desafíos, el riesgo de comportamientos no deseados aumenta. Por lo tanto, como padres y educadores, es nuestro trabajo encontrar la manera de mantener nuestro plan de estudios atractivo y estimulante así no “perdemos” a los niños con talentos excepcionales en un ambiente mundano, repetitivo y lento, que son los salones de clase tradicionales. Darles desafíos constantemente a los niños con talentos excepcionales es una lucha constante. Como padres, nos esforzamos por encontrar actividades de enriquecimiento para después de clases o durante los meses de verano. Les rogamos a las escuelas que les den a nuestros hijos material más profundo, para que se muevan a un paso más rápido que sus compañeros o para que puedan adelantarse a un lugar más apropiado para su nivel académico actual. Constantemente invertimos en libros, juguetes y plataformas de aprendizaje en-línea, para llenar el constante deseo de información y retos. Los llevamos a viajes alrededor del mundo, nos unimos a diferentes grupos de FB, estamos desesperados por inspiración e incluso nos cambiamos de estados para encontrar un ambiente que ofrezca constantemente a nuestros hijos, desafíos que los motiven a mantenerse apasionados sobre el aprendizaje y que se mantengan interesados. A menudo escuchamos la frase “estar a la altura”. En el mundo de las personas con talentos excepcionales, no se pudieron haber dicho palabras mas ciertas. Los niños con talentos excepcionales necesitan ser desafiados. Se les debe la oportunidad de que puedan alcanzar su máximo potencial. Ellos no están “bien” porque son inteligentes. Ellos merecen, como valores atípicos a la norma, tener una educación y oportunidades que les permitan flexionar su curiosidad. ¡Tenemos un reto frente a nosotros – mantener a estos niños motivados, y aunque o sea sencillo, les prometo que al final valdrá la pena! Mary Pape Miembro de la Junta de Gobierno de WATG (WATG extiende su agradecimiento a Esther Vazquez Guendulain de la Escuela Bilingüe de Appleton por la traducción de este articulo al español para nuestras familias y educadores hispano-hablantes. La traducción la puede encontrar también en los bloques de nuestra página web.) Over the past year, many WATG Board members, parents, and educators have spoken at public legislative hearings in support of increased funding for GT programming. Thanks to those efforts, the first increase in many years was approved. There is much further to go to meet the needs in Wisconsin, but this is an all-important start.
I assume I am not the only parent who simply cannot imagine speaking in such a public situation. Good news: advocacy is needed at many levels. What can advocacy at the level of your own child look like? A couple sat down to meet with their child’s math teacher at Fall Parent/Teacher conferences. They were determined to not be intimidated to talk with someone with a Ph.D. when their highest level of formal education was a GED. They introduced themselves, and the teacher abruptly said, “Why is it that the parents I don’t need to talk to are always the ones who show up for conferences?” They smiled, and undeterred, asked the questions they had prepared, including any suggestions for finding summer and weekend programs that would build on their child’s strengths and interests. They took notes on his answers. To the teacher’s credit, it turned out to be a very productive 10 minutes. Who was that couple? My parents. They never missed a conference with a single teacher as far as my siblings and I can recall, although it was more years ago than we care to count (pre-Internet … imagine that!). They talked to us before each conference, about each class, writing down questions/concerns so that they didn’t forget anything. We had to come up with something for each one. Then, they reviewed each of the discussions with us after they came home. We hated the process at the time, but it was well worth it. Because of that Fall conference conversation, I attended a Marquette University Engineering program on Saturday mornings for much of the next year. What a wonderful example they gave us of advocating quietly for your own child. Don’t ever forget that you are the premier expert on your child. You may not be able to help them with Calculus, but you know the subtle signs of when they’re stressed and pressured, what builds their confidence and what introduces self-doubt, how they learn best and what frustrates them. Prepare for parent/teacher conferences as best you can. Talk to your child about what’s working and what isn’t. Organize your thoughts. Write them down using words, pictures, etc. that will help you remember the important points. Bring along or ask for a translator if it would make you more confident; some schools work with local colleges to provide language students as translators. Make sure you understand what the teachers say, but also make sure they understand your perspective, questions, and concerns. Follow up if you get home and realize you missed something or have more questions after you thought about it. Your parental Ph.D. will help your child achieve great things, and no public speaking is required. Mary Budde WATG Treasurer (WATG would like to extend its deep appreciation to Esther Vazquez Guendulain of Appleton Bilingual School for translating this article into Spanish for our Spanish-speaking families and educators. The translation can be found on our website blog.) La lucha por una causa no es Uni-talla para todos Durante el pasado año, muchos padres, educadores y miembros del Consejo Administrativo de WATG han hablado en legislaciones públicas, en apoyo al incremento de fondos para programas de Talentos Excepcionales. Gracias a estos esfuerzos, el primer incremento en muchos años ha sido aprobado. Hay mucho más que hacer para cubrir las necesidades en Wisconsin, pero este es un comienzo muy importante. Yo asumo que no soy el único padre que no se puede imaginar simplemente hablando en ese tipo de situación pública. Buenas noticias: la lucha es necesaria en muchos niveles. ¿Cómo es la lucha en el nivel de su hijo? Una pareja se sentó para reunirse con el maestro de matemáticas de su hija durante las conferencias de otoño de Padres y Maestros. Estaban determinados a no ser intimidados al hablar con alguien con un Doctorado, cuándo su máximo nivel de formación de estudios era un GED. Ellos se presentaron y el maestro les dijo abruptamente: ¿Por qué pasa que los padres con los que no necesito hablar, son los que siempre vienen a las conferencias? Ellos sonrieron, y no le dieron importancia, hicieron preguntas que habían preparado, incluyendo sugerencias para encontrar programas de fin de semana y de verano que ayudaran a reforzar las cualidades e intereses de su hija. Tomaron notas en sus respuestas. Para crédito del maestro, resultaron ser 10 minutos muy productivos. ¿Quién era esa pareja? Mis padres. Ellos nunca se perdieron una conferencia con ningún maestro, al menos que mis hermanos y yo recordemos, aunque fueron más años atrás de los que nosotros podamos contar (antes de internet… ¡imagínese!). Ellos hablaban con nosotros sobre nuestra clase antes de cada conferencia, escribían preguntas/dudas así ellos no olvidarían nada. Teníamos que decirles algo cada uno de nosotros. Después, cuando llegaban a casa revisaban con nosotros cada una de las cosas que se hablaron. Ese proceso lo odiábamos en aquel momento, pero valía la pena. Debido a esa conferencia de Otoño, yo asistí al programa de Ingeniería de la Universidad de Marquette la mayoría de los sábados por la mañana del siguiente año. Que gran ejemplo nos dieron de luchar silenciosamente por tu propio hijo. Nunca olvides que tú eres el experto principal de tu hijo. Probablemente no le puedas ayudar con calculo, pero tú conoces las señales sutiles cuando está estresado o bajo presión, lo que le ayuda a ganar confianza y lo que le genera dudas, cómo aprende mejor y lo que lo frustra. Prepárese para las conferencias de Padres/Maestros lo mejor que pueda. Hable con su hijo sobre lo que esta y no está funcionando. Organice sus pensamientos. Escríbalos utilizando palabras, fotos, etc. que lo ayuden a recordar los puntos importantes. Traiga o pida un traductor, si eso lo ayuda a sentirse más seguro; algunas escuelas trabajan con universidades locales que proporcionan estudiantes de idiomas como traductores. Asegúrese de que entienda lo que el maestro dice, pero también asegúrese que ellos entiendan su perspectiva, preguntas y dudas. Dele seguimiento si al llegar a casa se da cuenta de que olvido algo o que tiene más preguntas después de que pensó las cosas. Su doctorado en ser Padres ayudará a que su hijo logre grandes cosas, y no se requiere hablar en público. Mary Budde Tesorero de WATG (WATG desea extender su profundo agradecimiento a Esther Vazquez Guendulain de Appleton Bilingual School por traducir este artículo al español para nuestras familias y educadores hispanohablantes . La traducción puede encontrarse también en el blog de nuestra página web.) Gifted children tend to have more stress and anxiety than other children due to their higher intensities and sensitivities; they also tend to put more pressure on themselves. There are many things that can cause stress and anxiety for gifted children. With the end of the first semester coming up, many students are also preparing for tests and midterms. This can be a stressful time for both students and parents. Additionally, gifted kids may overbook themselves, suffer from perfectionism, or succumb to pressure from others.There are many other things that can also impact a child’s stress and anxiety.
Below are some strategies children can use to help themselves when they are stressed/anxious, as well as ways parents/caregivers can help their children. You will also find links to various websites that provide examples of activities that can be done (ie., deep breathing, guided imagery, meditation, etc.). Ways to Help When Stressed:
Ways Parents/caregivers Can Help:
Resources:
Above all, take good care of yourself. Remember that you are constantly modeling how to manage stress. If you model healthy strategies, your child will learn from you. Good luck on your journey! Stacy Novak, WATG Board Member & President-Elect (WATG would like to extend its deep appreciation to Esther Vazquez Guendulain of Appleton Bilingual School for translating this article into Spanish for our Spanish-speaking families and educators. The translation can be found below.) Lidiando con el Estrés y Ansiedad Los niños con talentos excepcionales tienden a tener mayor estrés y ansiedad que otros niños debido a su alta intensidad y sensibilidad; también tienden a ponerse más presión a sí mismos. Hay muchas cosas que pueden causar estrés y ansiedad en niños con talentos excepcionales. Con el fin de semestre que se aproxima, muchos estudiantes también se están preparando para los exámenes de mitad de año. Este, puede ser un tiempo de estrés para estudiantes y padres. Adicionalmente, los niños con talentos excepcionales pueden sobre agendarse ellos mismos, sufrir por el perfeccionismo o sucumbir ante la presión de los demás. También hay muchas cosas más que pueden impactar el estrés y ansiedad de los niños. A continuación se encuentran algunas estrategias que los niños pueden usar para ayudarse a sí mismos cuando están estresados/ansiosos, así como la manera en que los padres/personas a cargo pueden ayudar a sus hijos. También puede encontrar enlaces a diferentes páginas web que proporcionan ejemplos de actividades que pueden hacer (ej. respiración profunda, imaginación guiada, meditación, etc.). Maneras de ayudar cuándo estén estresados:
Maneras en que Padres/personas a cargo pueden ayudar:
Recursos:
Sobre todo, cuidese mucho usted mismo. Recuerde que usted está dando el ejemplo constantemente de cómo manejar el estrés. Si usted da el ejemplo de estrategias saludables, su hijo aprenderá de usted. ¡Mucha suerte en su trayecto! Stacy Nowak, Mimbro del Consejo y Presidente-electo de WATG (WATG desea extender su profundo agradecimiento a Esther Vazquez Guendulain de Appleton Bilingual School por traducir este artículo al español para nuestras familias y educadores hispanohablantes . La traducción puede encontrarse también en el blog de nuestra página web.) |
Archives
April 2023
Categories
|
RSS Feed
